Take Time To Take Care of Yourself!

There are a number of recommendations I could make to assist nurses on my unit with taking better care of themselves.  Some of these suggestions could be taken by the nurses themselves and others would be recommendations to the organization.  Nurses are caregivers and they are often so busy worrying about and caring for others that they minimize their own importance.  Fortunately, I have learned very early on in life that unless you effectively care for yourself you are unable to care for others.  How can you give anything to anyone else when you are so depleted mentally, physically and emotionally that you have nothing left to give?  The following are some suggestions I would make:

1. Eat a well-balanced diet.  Nurses often tell their patients this but then they don't do it themselves.  Eating junk causes us to be sluggish and our minds are not as sharp.  It also inhibits good digestion which can be very disruptive to our health and wellness in general.

2. Sleep!  Sleep is a restorative process for the mind, body and spirit.  A proper amount of sleep is important in order to perform at your best.

3. Along with sleep, when you're ill you need to rest!  You may think you're doing your unit a favor when you come in to work vomiting with a 103 degree fever but, not only are you unable to work at your optimal level and are potentially getting others sick, but you are also making your recovery time significantly longer.  Call out of work for a night or two so that you can come back feeling refreshed and ready to go!

4. Do not work too much overtime.  Sure, employers love their "motivated" employees who want to work all the time and make the "big money" but you are wearing yourself down and you will burn out quickly!  People need time to themselves.  It's important.  Sure, working fewer hours might mean that your paychecks won't be as large as you would like, but taking time for yourself also doesn't mean you need to be hitting the bars every night you're off.  Pour yourself a glass of wine, settle up with a good book or your favorite movie, and just have some "you" time.  This is just as important, if not more important, than a fat paycheck.  Let's face it, tomorrow could be our last day for any one of us.  How would you want to look back at your life?  As a workaholic who didn't take any time for themselves?  Or as someone who has no regrets?  I choose the latter.  Of course if the workaholic thing is for you then who am I to judge?

5. On the other hand, management should be ensuring that their employees are not working too many days in a row.  I work with someone who will schedule herself 9 nights straight!  She says it helps her with her sleep pattern but regardless, by the end of those 9 nights you can tell that she's completely burnt out and wasted!  This is a danger to the patients and to herself!  She's a fantastic nurse and I know she would never intend any harm upon her patients.  She would be absolutely devastated if she did anything to put a patient in danger.  But there is no way working 9 nights in a row is healthy.  Period.

6. Cafeterias at hospitals need to have earlier/later hours.  The fact that my hospital cafeteria closes at 7 PM is ridiculous.  I come in to work at 6:30!  Try as I may, sometimes I just don't have the time to pull together a well-rounded meal and it would be nice to know that I could at least get something half-decent in the cafeteria.  Would staying open until 10 be too much to ask?  Sheesh!

7. Finally, treat yourself.  I make sure to get a massage at least once a month.  Some may see it as I'm spending money that I don't have, or I have all this time because I don't have kids yet, etc.  I'm sure the list of excuses one can come up with could go on and on.  I see it as wellness.  I am a high anxiety, high stress person who carries all of that stress in between my shoulder blades, neck and lower back.  Massages help to release stress and toxins.  And, quite honestly, they just feel really darn good!  I work hard and I deserve it!  So, whether it be a massage, a mani/pedi, or a weekend getaway... please, treat yourself!  You will come back feeling refreshed and ready to roll!

Dream It, Be It!

If there's one thing I've learned in my (almost) 30 years (yikes!) it's that you really can have whatever you set your mind to!  YOU hold the power to transform your life and make it whatever you want it to be.  It has to do with the Law of Attraction (read more about the Law of Attraction in "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.)  Long story short, over the past 2 years I've made some efforts to transform my life.  The change has been slow, but it is happening nonetheless.

As you may have read in my last post, I started seeing an energy healer a little less than 2 years ago.  Now that I live in South Carolina and she is 10 hours away, I haven't done as much work with her, but in the short time I did work with her I learned a lot about holding my intention and being the person I'm meant to be.  I hope to take this study further but I realize I can't have everything I want right away.  These things take time.  But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't focus on the things that I want in life and make my desires known to the Universe.  I encourage anyone who reads this to consider the possibilities!  

The Law of Attraction states that whatever you put out into the Universe, you will attract more of the same.  What are you putting out in the Universe?  Is it all the things you don't want in life?  Then expect more of it!  Or, is it all your dreams that you wish to one day make a reality?  Then expect more of that!  But remember, no matter what it is that you want in life, it can be a process.  For example, you may want to be a millionaire.  You may think, "No way!  That is completely unrealistic!"  But it's not!  If it's something you truly want, put it out into the Universe!  But the Universe isn't just going to hand you a million dollars.  You're not going to wake up one morning and your bank account will magically have 7 figures waiting for you. What the Universe will do is bring the tools to you to make your dreams a reality.  It's just a matter of you recognizing it and using the tools to get you there.

As for me, there are a lot of things I want!  Who doesn't?  But, these are just a couple things I have in mind:

1. First and foremost, I am hands down ready to be a mother!  Hubby and I are in the process of making this happen.  Again, it's a process.  But, I have no doubt that with our positive thoughts and some amazing people helping us along the way, our dream is going to become a reality!  We've even started talking about the baby as if he (or she) is already a reality even though we haven't yet conceived!  We are not allowing doubts to enter our minds.  There's no room for doubt or negativity.

2. I absolutely love being a nurse but I am already tired of living the life as a slave to a hospital.  American healthcare right now is beyond ridiculous to the point where I could probably write a series of blogs about it.  The fact of the matter is, I've already known there is more out there for me than just working in a hospital the rest of my life.  I've always had this feeling that I could "Be my own boss."  Even as a teacher, I dreamed of opening my own preschool.  That being said, I am putting it out into the Universe that I will get to care for patients outside of the hospital/nursing facility setting.  When I first decide to go into business for myself, I see myself working out of my home.  As my business expands, I may need to open up an office but I don't want to get ahead of myself.  There are 7 days in a week and, with what I want to do, it's entirely possible that I could work out of my home or, travel to others homes if I so choose.

3. I've always wrestled with where I want nursing to take me.  The beauty (and sometimes, torture) of being a nurse is that there are so many options!!  I'm still not entirely sure if I want to go back to school for my Nurse Practitioner knowing that I could potentially care for patients without it.  The downside would be the inability to write prescriptions for anything, including necessary testing.  But, I have realized through my own experiences and education that I prefer to focus on Holistic health.  I've decided that I want to be able to work with patients almost as a consultant.  I would help them learn different ways for them to take care of themselves before they get so sick that they need the services of a hospital.  There are so many classes and certifications I want to earn!  Again, all in good time.  It's hard not to get excited but classes take time and most importantly, money, and I need to pace myself!  Aromatherapy, yoga, Reiki, massage and energy work are just a few areas of Holistic health that I dream of dabbling in.  Again, I have set my intention to become an independent practitioner of Holistic health.  Now I just have to wait for the Universe to show me my path.

What are your dreams?  Where do you see yourself in 5, 10 or 15 years?  The mind is a powerful thing and whatever you want could be yours if you just set your mind to it.  Don't let others tell you something isn't possible.  I did that for far too long.  Stay on your path and know your purpose.  Know what's right for you.  Nobody else knows the answer to that; only you.  Dream it!  Be it!

A Goodbye Letter.

I'm starting this year off right.  Last night I wrote a letter to a former friend.  A friend that, at one time, I was very close to.  I confided in her about my hopes, my dreams, my joy, my sorrow and my heartbreak.  I planned special events for her celebrating new and exciting things in her life and I was a shoulder to cry on through her difficulties.  I'm not a perfect person by any means.  I make mistakes just like anyone else.  But all in all, I was a good friend.  A damn good one.  Unfortunately, it seemed more often than not, my feelings and gestures were not returned.  Things were all well and good when she was the center of attention.  As soon as the attention was off her an ugly side came out.  One day, without warning, she just decided she didn't want to be friends anymore.  I didn't see it coming.  However, the purpose of this entry is not to bash her or to focus on the negative.  The purpose is merely to reflect on a part of my life that I have finally been able to close.  I'd rather reflect on this as a positive when it is so easy to focus only on the negative.

My energy healer says that everyone we come in contact with we have a "contract" with.  In some way, big or small, everyone we meet has a purpose for our lives.  This contract is not always lifelong.  Sometimes these people are meant to teach us a lesson.  Sometimes they help us to get to know ourselves better.  Sometimes they teach us qualities that we also want to possess and other times they teach us qualities that we don't.  Sometimes they bring a person into our lives that changes us forever.  Sometimes they enhance our lives and other times they detract from it.  Whatever their purpose know that there is a purpose.  And not all of these purposes are going to involve sunshine and butterflies.  These people force us to face truths and make choices - and many of them are not easy.  But the important part of all of this is that, if we are able to look within ourselves and strive for our own happiness, we will come out stronger on the other side.  This person did that for me.

The difficult part of all this is that I allowed all of the negative feelings and resentment I was harboring for her to take over my life for almost an entire year!  Any time her name would come up in conversation or I would see a picture of her the anger would get so intense I just wanted to hit something!  Enough was enough!  Another thing you must realize - and I believe this wholeheartedly - no one can make you feel anything.  The anger and resentment I began to feel for this person  gave her all the power in my life.  It wasn't hurting her it was only hurting me!  Why was I allowing this to happen?  The only answer I could think of was that I never had closure.  She made her feelings perfectly clear by cutting me out of her life.  Mind you, she didn't have the decency to do this to my face or even over the phone.  I just sort of "found out".  I, on the other hand, never got the chance to "say my piece" so to speak.  After all I had given to our friendship I was, quite honestly, devastated.  But not devastated because I lost her - devastated because I allowed myself to feel like a failure because of her actions.  I allowed it.  No one else.  So, what was my turning point?

My husband and I are preparing to start our family.  Without going into too much detail (hubby is still feeling pretty low about the whole thing) we are going to need a great deal of help to do so.  This triggered those feelings of anger and resentment that I had been feeling for this person for quite some time.  I spent countless hours crying and yelling and screaming and, quite frankly, wanting to rip her head off.  I'm not holding anything back here, friends - I have been pissed.  But again, my feelings in no way affect her.  I quickly realized through discussions with friends, coworkers and hubby that the only person my feelings were hurting was me!  That's when I decided it was time to sit down and write a letter.  Negative feelings are toxic and if I wanted to make way for a new little blessing in our lives I had to rid mind, body and spirit of all the negativity I was holding on to.

In my letter I poured my feelings out to her.  I told her how much I was hurting due to her actions.  I told her how I felt neglected and abandoned and like I never mattered to her.  I told her how I felt like the only person who ever mattered was her and that, whenever I was going through a difficult time, she didn't really seem to care.  Or rather, she pretended to but really didn't.  I reminded her of how much time I had spent being there for her in every way I could think of and how I felt as though she rarely, if ever, returned the favor.  It went on and on like this for 5 1/2 pages.  I just completely unloaded.  But at the very end, on the very last page or so, I acknowledged her place in my life.  I acknowledged what I had learned from our friendship.  I acknowledged the positive changes I had made in my life because of knowing her.  And, in my very last paragraph I wished her much happiness, success and fulfillment.  My one wish for her is that she had learned something from our friendship that she could take with her in life.  And then I simply ended it by writing, "Have a nice life.  Jenna."

This morning, after reading it through one last time, I made the conscious decision to burn the letter.  I didn't want to remember all the anger and resentment.  I didn't want to reread how hurt I felt, or jealous, or angry.  I just simply wanted to remember that I had closed that chapter in my life.  Game over.  The end.

Now I look towards an amazing 2014!  Amazing husband, family and friends.  Finishing my BSN.  Receiving my degree.  Becoming more immersed in my career as a cardiac nurse and refining my skills.  Watching my Arbonne business thrive and grow and create extra income for us.  And, hopefully, welcoming a little bundle of joy into our family.  Only good things from here!  Remember the power of positive thinking and that, with our thoughts, we can make our dreams a reality!  Cheers!