Picture from Matt Cassel Foundation (www.mattcasselfoundation.org)
It's been a little over a year since my friend Matt passed away... I first met Matt when we both worked at Ruby Tuesday. The year was 2008 and Matt had just graduated high school. His brother, Ryan, worked with us too. Ryan and I had initially bonded because we were graduates from the same high school. Ryan had graduated a couple years behind me. I then learned that Ryan, and subsequently Matt too, knew my boyfriend (now hubby) Anthony. Apparently, they had all grown up together. If that didn't seem crazy enough, I later learned that Ryan and Matt's mom grew up with my dad! As I've gotten older I've learned more and more how small the world truly is! Anyway, I digress...
Matt, at the young age of 18, was somewhat of a troubled teen. Truthfully, I only really knew bits and pieces... Sometime in his early teens he became addicted to marijuana. He had been in and out of rehabs for that and even spent time in a safe house. At 17, he became a father to an amazing little boy, Brayden, who is now 6 years old. When I met Matt, he seemed like he was constantly running from something. He was often angry at his parents, frustrated with his situation with his baby's mother, feeling as though he never got to see Brayden enough and turning to alcohol, drugs and destructive relationships to heal the pain.
In the time Matt and I worked together, he had started on the path that would ultimately destroy him. It became evident to me shortly after I got to know Matt that he was taking Oxycontin. For those of you who don't know, Oxycontin (and other prescription pain killers) are very expensive and for the true addict eventually this has to progress to something less expensive. At the time, I didn't know this was the beginning of the end for Matt. I just tried to encourage him to not go down that path. To deal with his problems and face them head on.
But for a moment, I don't want to talk about Matt's pathway to destruction. I want to remember the amazing young man that he was. For such a young man he was wise beyond his years. It was evident when I met him at 18 years old that he had already been through so much. He had gotten a very early glimpse of the hardships life had to offer. Matt and I would sit and talk every day between our shifts. We would talk about relationships, Brayden, school and our aspirations for the future. He was always there for me. He had my back when hubby and I were having problems back then. He helped me realize all the good qualities within me and all that I had to offer the world. He encouraged me to go through with nursing school telling me that he could see the passion I had for helping others. That was the great thing about Matt... no matter how rough life may have been for him, he always wanted the best for the people he cared about most.
Even after I stopped working at Ruby Tuesday to pursue my schooling and career full-time, Matt and I would occasionally run into one another at local restaurants and such. Every time I would see Matt, he would have a big smile on his face and his eyes would light up. He couldn't wait to tell me how well he was doing and how Brayden was doing. You could see the pride in his face - he was definitely a proud papa.
Not long before Matt passed away, I saw a Facebook post on my timeline about getting to chat with Brayden for the first time in a long time. I recall asking him, "Where is Brayden?" He told me that Brayden was in Germany with his mother and her new husband. He then went on to say that it was the best thing for Brayden and he was okay with it. Needless to say, I agreed with Matt 110% that Brayden being with his mother in a stable environment was undoubtedly the best thing for him. Still, I could only imagine how much Matt's heart must have been hurting with an ocean dividing him and his son. It soon became very obvious that I had no idea the gravity of Matt's situation...
One week before Thanksgiving "R.I.P. Matt Cassel" began to flood my timeline and I quickly learned that, indeed, my dear friend Matt had passed away. His father wrote a very emotional post informing us all that Matt had passed away from a Heroin overdose and that he had found him in his bedroom long after he took his last breath. Tears flooded my eyes and my heart ached for Matt, his parents and siblings and his sweet baby boy who would never get to know his father.
It has been a little more than a year since my friend Matt passed away and it still doesn't seem real. I often think one day I will randomly see another post pop up on my timeline from Matt updating us about Brayden or ranting about another fight he had with his dad. After Matt's death, many people came out of the wood work talking about the impact he had on their lives and how much he helped them. I wish he could have realized how many people he had an impact on in his short life. The only thing I can liken his struggles to is that no matter how many people he was around, he still felt alone. I just hope he realizes now how loved he was and that we are all so blessed to have him in our army of angels. We love you, Matt. Fly high!
*Please note: The above post is only meant to be a personal account of Matt from her perspective and not meant to offend anyone who was close to Matt. Admittedly, there is A LOT she doesn't know about Matt or his struggles. This post is only meant to serve as a tribute to an amazing friend that I love and miss with my whole heart. Thank you.
